For people who can't count: the lap counter. for $75!!!!
"It's a swimmer's dream! Personal underwater clock counts your laps, lap times (including your best), total time, even the estimated number of calories you've burned. Just push the Lap Track with every completed lap and all your info is right there, in large easy-to-read numerals -- no need to slow down or break the surface."
For people who travel in packs and only have three other BFFs - float together! Another reason to build the pool house - to keep all this junk in!***
And just like you were sure you'd use the pool table and the foozball and the poker table....you won't use this either - floating or not!
Maybe this can double as a wheelchair?
"Motorized Cooler is a Party on Wheels
You don't have to lug a heavy ice chest to your next picnic or tailgate party. Just load up this motorized cooler & hop on! The Cruzin' Cooler is light enough to be carried & fits in most trunks. Perfect for football games, camping, golf & grocery store trips, this motorized ice chest holds up to (24) 12-ounce cans of your favorite beverages, and thanks to a built-in motor, you can travel at up to 13 miles per hour while sitting on a comfortable padded seat. The Cruzin' Cooler charges with a regular 110 plug-in adapter and will go 15 miles on a single charge. The 500-watt Cruzin Cooler is capable of holding over 300 pounds - body weight plus cargo."
Super laziness in the umbrella category
"Remotely Control Your Existing Umbrella! You don't need to brave the elements to collapse your table umbrella on windy or rainy days. Open or close it remotely with the low-voltage motor, which mounts near the top of the pole and connects to the umbrella lift-ring. Send RF signals using the included remote from 40 feet away, even through walls and doors."
A favorite to laugh at....the remote control drink caddy...
"Radio controlled snack float brings food and drinks to you . No need to paddle around or get out of the water for a cold drink or snack -- make 'em come to you! Motorized tip-proof float operates by remote control -- just press a button and it zips right to you. Great for parties. "
Finally, the laziness is appalling. Can't even float without power....
"State-of-the-art pool float features two whisper quiet but ultra-powerful motorized propellers (safely enclosed) that speed you around the pool effortlessly. Independent joysticks give you total steering control while the large armrests and built-in drink holder deliver ultimate comfort.
Maximum speed 3 MPH. Requires 16 D batteries."