Monday, December 15, 2008

When 7-11 Is Out of Beef Jerky.....

Wow.... wow...Make your own jerky gizmo .....

"Spice up your snacking selection. This versatile kit lets you quickly and easily create your own jerky strips, sticks, or double strips. Add the included spices to your choice of ground meat for flavor that suits your tastes. Includes jerky gun, three attachments, and five spices."

$25 buys a lot of jerky at the truck stop.

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Sunday, December 7, 2008

Spoons Too Complicated?

Who really has so much trouble with pancakes that you need a $30 gizmo to replace a spoon or measuring cup? The spoon and cup you ALREADY HAVE! So when you use for's FREE! Where are you going to find space for this - and look at all the parts to wash! I can hear my Mom now.....

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OK, so Fire inside is OK if it's some Eastern tradition?

Good way to set something on fire...

"Flying Wish Paper! Start a new holiday tradition with family and friends! Write it, light it, let it fly!"

Yes, it FLIES!! Be sure to watch the video of it being used INSIDE! The flaming paper flies all over.

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Oh, THAT'S How to Pass Germs More Efficiently!

In case your guests didn't get a cold from your sneezing in the dip, or greeting all the other guests, or from your molding the cheese ball.....this will ensure that every germ from your kids' germy hands gets on every gumdrop and that any airborne pathogens are caught in the branches and stuck on the gummy gumdrops in this gumdrop tree.

Kookaburra not included! ("Kookaburra sits on the old gum tree, Merry merry king of the bush is he, Laugh Kookaburra, laugh Kookaburra, Gay your life must be. Kookaburra sits on the old gum tree, Eating all the gumdrops he can see; Stop Kookaburra, stop Kookaburra, Leave some gums for me ")

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Don't You Have Socks?

Remember, posts must be for things that even if useful may be done without a new separate gizmo. Here's a good example. I'm all for multitasking, but if I want to dust my floors, that's what the old atheletic socks are for. When they look grungy I toss in hamper. Same as these dusting slippers but cheaper! For $10 I can buy a pack of 10 cheap socks! And - BONUS! - the socks can be worn as socks! These slippers cannot be worn for any other purpose and once they are dirty you have to wash, you can't keep walking around in them like slippers with rubber or leather soles.
Plus, they look stupid.

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If there's no fire danger, where's the fun?!

The point of S'mores isn't that they are good - they are not - but that you get to learn to build a fire ("no that's a bush not a weed you can't cut it down!"), find a stick ("don't point that at your sister!"), wave flaming (oops) marshmallows around, eat some of the chocolate bars ("you won't have any left!" "Mom, she ate mine!"), and drop the whole ashen thing on the ground.

Doing it in the microwave is sooooo beside the point!!!! I despair for kids in a house where this is considered a good idea. I bet the kids get shellacked or laminated every day and wrapped in bubble wrap and are only allowed a snack when they set out matching plates and brush their hair in case there's a cute photo for the scrapbook.

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"Why Don't You Just Walk In There?!"

I can hear my mom - with a raised ironic voice - telling me not to yell to my brother and sister. It went like this:
(Mom) "Call your brother and sister to dinner."
(Mom) "I could have have done that!"
(Me) "Then why didn't you?"
(Mom) "AAANNNNEEE!!!!"
(Me) "Now, who's yelling!?"

With this intercom gadget, we would not have been able have this running gag every day!

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When You're Too Weak to Lift a Feather

"Does the work for you!" it you have problems getting tired waving a .5 ounce duster around? Then get one with batteries that spins!

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