Saturday, October 10, 2009

Travel Overload - With This Many Problems to Solve, Just Stay Home!

Travel gadgets are frequently very cool. Small cute things. Neat fixes for travel difficulties. Ways to make the road or the plane more comfortable. But there are lots of items for sale that solve problems we don't have. Then there are the ones that if you think you need them, you're too squeamish or delicate to travel. Anyway, by the time you buy them all you could have just stayed at the Ritz Carlton and not needed them! Finally, if you really tried to pack all the things you might need from the travel catalogs...where would you put your clothes?!

No kidding, all of these items are marketed for travel.

Getting There

Sleeping on plane is hard.

So is keeping warm

You'll need help breathing

You might need backup

But would that interfere with this product?

Don't forget this for your back

Or maybe you prefer this

And your feet too of course need a few things to prevent DVT, which will you choose?

Or maybe you also need the seat thing to massage your circulation

Don't forget to close your eyes

So, I'm picturing you there in coach in the middle seat with all this gear you have to wrestle out of your bag stowed beneath your feet, inflate, position, etc. You finally get yourself all decked out and look like a total idiot. But hey you're comfortable and if you sleep you won't realize you didn't pack anything to READ because your bag was full of these comfort items. Then the guy in the window seat needs to go to the bathroom.

If you survive your trip, then you'll be somewhere terrifying.

You probably want this.

and this scary germ killer

Better not to touch ANYTHING especially the bed.

And be sure not to mush your face by wearing a weird headband

Of course you'll want to drown out the noise of the air purifier with soothing sounds too.

You'll need to be awakened - here's the heaviest version you can bring.

Don't touch the shower either. Why not just pack a pair of street-usable flops or water shoes?

But if you can't touch the shower, how do you stay safe in the shower? Aha...

If you make it out of the shower, you'll need a portable robe.

You'll want to check on the impact of croissant or tortes with a travel scale

safety in your room

Because you don't want to have to wear the earphones all the time, you'll need speakers.

Can't find furniture to lift in your hotel room? try these weights

And in case you're worried about finding Maxwell House level coffee in Vienna, Paris, or Rome....
try this portable coffee maker.

I don't know how to reconcile the person who thinks they need all this stuff with them to travel who would buy all this, pack it, and lug it...but not just check into a hotel that provides this for you? If you're the kind of person who is not staying at a place with a car service and a porter, you're carrying it all with you which you can't really do because your bags will now weigh a ton. Plus you're too much of a wimp for the hostel. Which is all you can afford after you buy this stuff, buy the extra luggage, and pay the extra bag charges!

Going Out
If you ever get up the nerve to leave the hotel you'll need a way to use the scary toilets.

and you'll want your own toiletpaper supply. I fail to see why you would spend $6.85 on this instead of a handi-pac of tissues or a wad of paper from the hotel?

Better yet, bring this with you and you don't need a toilet at all! I'm telling you, if you're in a place with no toilet, I'm guessing you wouldn't be the first person to piss in the alley.

And you need this mask.

Just to be safe you also need this spray. Assuming you can fit in your ziploc.

Now, here's a great name for an item: the "Packable Backpack." As opposed to some other kind of "non-packable" backpack? Why wouldn't you just USE a backpack, thus "packing it" but not needing to pack it IN another piece of luggage? OK, maybe you need another sac to carry stuff in when you get to your destination? How about....a sac! Smaller, lighter, and - I'm going out on a limb here - available in the place you're traveling!

High Maintenance!
Travel is tough on the manicure.

And on the teeth.

And other parts.

Who needs a travel box for the dresser - how is this worth the extra space/weight?

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