Monday, September 7, 2009

Can't You Get Free Boxes from the Liquor Store?

Herewith only supposedly helpful useful things that just cost more money than simple alternative of a box and are not dual-purpose with anything else.

Item One: the Wreath Storage bag....It's unclear to me how this is superior to a BOX! A box can be stacked at least.Item 2: another item easily replaced by a box. A gift wrap storage device.
Ok why do you need this? From the product page: "Fit all your wrapping supplies in one, easy-to-carry bag. This Christmas gift wrap keeper has easy-to-access pockets, wrapping paper, and ribbon dispensers to help you wrap faster. Plus, it boasts these convenient features:

  • End zipper fits a regular sized bag of bows
  • Three expandable filing pockets keep your greeting cards organized and ready for the next big event
  • A side pocket has plenty of room for pens, tape, and scissors
  • Includes pockets specifically designed for pens, tape, and scissors, so they stay where they belong
  • Ribbon dispenser safely keeps 10-15 rolls of ribbon ready to unroll and cut at any time
  • There's no need to put the ribbon away after you get what you need; just dispense what you want, cut, and go
  • A special pocket holds hang tags, gift tags, tissue paper, and more
  • Store 15-20 rolls of 40" wrapping paper
  • Exclusive front load paper dispenser keeps one 40" wrap ready to roll and cut at all times
  • Simply put the wrapping paper in the specially re-enforced pocket and you're ready to pull, cut, and wrap at a moments notice."

Item 3: An all-purpose "holiday" storage bag. Another candidate for replacement by a box.

I'm not irrational, though! I am willing to tolerate Christmas ornament storage boxes that have insert dividers to keep ornaments from bumping each other and breaking.

Item 4: Ribbons apparently need their own box. Who except the gift wrapper at the department store before Christmas needs such a thing? I'll allow you to have lots of ribbons. You can even be neat and put a rubber band around each roll to keep them from getting tangled up. But this? This is Sleeping-With-the-Enemy, Martha Stewart, OCD level neat!

Item 5:
I thought shoes came in boxes?
Item 6: Apparently women aren't the only ones who want cute little boxes for things. Men now want to be able to load a charcoal grill without getting their nantucket reds or Tommy Hilfiger shirts dirty. Puh-lease. Put it in a plastic bag for moisture protection.
I am sure there's enough silliness in the outdoor grilling accessories market for another post. But I should go ahead and point out as a public service announcement that this is not the way to start a charcoal grill. This is.

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